AS SEEN ON TV: BOBBING HEADS

For at least a month now, I've nearly lost bladder control whenever any one of several bobbing-head commercials comes on. I call them this because the universal body movement that indicates product satisfaction these days has become the bobbing head.

One prominent bobbing head promotes the Digital Message Reminder, which you get free when you order the Buxton Over the Shoulder Oragnizer. The DMR is about the size of a first-generation car remote lock. And boy, is this device handy! The video shows an apparently forgetful young woman using it to remember to buy milk or something at the supermarket.

And what does she do when that little recorder plays back the message and reminds her of her shopping obligation? She bobs her head! Yes, siree! Boing! Boing! Boing!

Similar head-bobbing goes on in the commercial for a device called Listen Up. This piece of technology is about the size of an iPod and allows you to hear sounds, voices and even gossip at a distance. The commercial shows a variety of goofy-looking folks whose lives are made all the better by this electronic wonder.

The lead doofus in the Listen Up commercial is a totally whipped guy whose wife bitches at him endlessly about the TV being too loud, the stereo being too loud, blah blah blah. This poor schelp probably hasn't gotten any since "B.J. and the Bear" was first-run.

Anyway, thanks to Listen Up, he's able to listen to TV in bed without his wife getting on his case. Other folks find Listen Up of value, too: Some non-studly dude at the gym learns that two semi-babes have the hots for him, moms at the playground monitor their snot-nosed spawn, a new resident in a suburban neighborhood eavesdrops on what the neighbors are saving about her, a gunless hunter who apparently puts game in a half-nelson hears his prey approaching, and (my favorite) an elderly lady already suffering from rigor mortis proudly clutches her Listen Up in church while her befuddled husband sits there not hearing a word and is most assuredly bound for hell.

There's head bobbing a-plenty during all of this.

Keep in mind I'm not criticizing these products. In fact, I could probably get into a lot of enjoyable mischief with the Listen Up. And I'd almost consider buying the Buxton as a ready bag for a small camera or two. Note that I said almost. It looks way too much like a purse for a guy to be caught dead carrying.

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